I really enjoyed the readings for last week and feel like there’s SO much more I want to expand on and 300 words might not cover it. Not only were there a ton of moments that I found myself saying ‘YES’ or ‘Exactly’ in agreement with what the authors or persons being interviewed were saying, but I also found moments where I just wanted to hear more, or wanted to visually see what their ideal anti-racist school system, or classroom system would look like.
I’ve come to realize along my journey towards becoming a teacher just how nervous I am to be a first year teacher. The multicultural and anti-racist approach is something I want to fully engulf right from the get-go, but I worry that my lack of experience, nervousness, and potential need or desire to satisfy my principal, or any other administration’s expectation will limit me. I spend a lot of time worrying about whether people like me, and that’s my own internal struggle that I’m trying to take on this semester(that I need to take on before becoming a teacher), but what has me even more worried is will students like me? Will they feel comfortable opening up to me? How can I create a classroom that is more than just a surface level of encouraging inclusion? A classroom that truly has no political, racial, or economic preference-that teaches to the academic standards but doesn’t hold students to any other standard of culture.
‘First there is a surface stage in which people change a few expressions of culture in school. They make welcome signs in several languages and have a variety of foods and festivals. My problem is not that they start there. My concern is that they often stop there.” I drew some of these thoughts from this quote by Enid Lee.
I think Endid Lee is speaking to current teachers in her quote on changing classrooms to model an anti-racist pedagogy and feel like I have an advantage as a first year teacher to walk in knowing exactly what I want. Each and everyday I’m crafting ideas of what I want from myself, what I want from my students, and how I plan to get there. And I am so incredibly excited to get there. (Going off topic from multicultural edu, and thinking of my capstone course) In Understanding by Design the idea of backwards learning has been churning thew my mind in so many other elements of my life. In my steps towards learning the ukulele, in my plans towards becoming a teacher, in my advancement at my part time job, in so many aspects of my life I’m trying to start with understanding the big picture, figuring out what I know, what I need to know, and how to get there.
From Chapter 2 of Rethinking Multicultural Edu, this was one of the quotes by Lisa Delpit that I marked while first reading: “The more disconnected the content we teach-the more teachers try to teach skills out of context-the less likely students are to make sense of it. So we have to talk about the big picture....”
The big picture can sometimes be incredibly tough to find though! And as a future first year teacher, that plans to go in with a big picture, a plan, dreams, and realization that the dreams might not happen the way you expected, and that my future student’s happiness and learning might not happen the way I planned but that the environment and situation I create for that happiness and learning is what ultimately matters.
Alright, I feel like I should wrap up there but I also feel like there’s so much more I want to expand on from the readings but I’ll narrow it down to just a small section.
“Another thing we run into a lot is young African American students who have learned what some people refer to as a street sense, but their language might seem more mature in many ways.”
“The norms of regular classrooms are often so restrictive that any deviation suggests a pathology. So you get more African American children whose cultural norms may be a little different being directed into special education. Often teachers don't know how to best reach these kids, how to connect to what they know, how to connect to what their interests are, and what plays a part in it too.”
I could quote Delpit all day. After my experience observing in a FAIR first grade classroom, I feel like so much of what she touches on has given me a new lenses and way to understand what I observed.
I had such a hard time grappling with what I observed, and trying to figure out if it was ‘normal’. For context, the classroom I was in I would estimate had around 95 percent African American students and a first year white teacher. I did witness numerous attempts at bringing in African American culture but I don’t think it was incorporated into the learning nearly enough. I also think there was a disconnect from the teacher’s experience and expectations, and the student’s experiences and expectations.
What I write a lot about in my observation blogs, and what stands out the most is the ‘behavioral issues’ the students had, and the teachers attempt to overcome them. Reflecting now, I do think there were a few students that may have had actual behavioral issues or outside influences affecting their learning but for most of the students they just seem overall distracted. They had a hard time focusing. And I’m guessing that’s normal for 6 and 7 year olds but the learning still has to happen. And it can be done not only through an anti-racist lens, but in a way that incorporates the students interests.
Delpit has given me a couple ideas of how, she talks about focusing on students positive traits and noting how their negative traits can actually be positive traits in disguise. The example she gave was of a student that is constantly disruptive and that all the other students always follow in their lead, can be looked at as a student that’s a natural leader with a strong voice.
I don’t fully know how to construct an anti-racist classroom, but I do recognize that there were problems in the classroom I observed. The students in the 1st grade classroom at FAIR were coming to class with so much outside knowledge, but what was being taught in class didn’t connect to that. I think it’s easiest to engage students in what’s culturally relevant to them but also important to not dive too far into any one culture.
All of this! Yes!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, this questioning of "do I have what it takes to be a teacher?" Let's unpack this. Certainly, there is a lot of this that originates from taking up a new profession, particularly one that is so critical to the future of our world. It is an absolutely big responsibility that cannot be denied. Fear of this is natural, but you cannot let it overtake you. However, I wonder if that is just it? Ponder if the lack of teachers that share your cultural experience may also be weighing on your understanding of the profession. Particularly in places such as MN where there are so few teachers of color, the whiteness of the profession perpetuates itself in subtle ways. Ponder that and work hard to resist the "status quo" of teaching here. We cam imaging a new way forward.
Your question about how will you be able to adopt anti-racism in your classroom is worthy. Certainly, schools currently perpetuate the status quo and it is easier to conform to what is presented. Anti-racism can take more work. However, your lived experience of observing at FAIR tells you differently. That teacher put more time into discipline. Young students have energy and can be distracted. But, your gut is not that it is just about development. So, where do you choose to spend your time as a new teacher? Is it with discipline or pedagogy? Where is the pay off? It may sound flip, but I really think we make choices all of the time and we need to be clear about how we want to spend time and effort.
So much here and this is just the start of these conversations. :)
I also LOVE how you are letting UBD shift your perspective about teaching and learning!!